Writer's Strike
by Nopa LaMais
Summary: What happens to the poor author when her characters don't like the way the story is going? Well, read and find out. Just me playing around and arguing with the creative voices in my head. Perhaps now I'll be able to get some real work done...


Only a few of the following characters belong to me, and since they're all upset with me at the moment, I'm sure they wouldn't mind it you borrowed them for a bit.

Hello everyone. I just want to apologize for not having updated ANY of my stories. Since I posted the first chapter for Be Mine I've just had a terrible time with my writing, and life in general. This was just an exercise for me to get me past the stumbling block, and it's shows a little bit of how I've been feeling lately. It seems that my characters are all being extremely trying. Every time I sit down to write about a particular group, the set from a different story come barging in. They just can't seem to realize that at this rate nothing will ever get done.

This little ficlet is only met to amuse an possibly entertain. Don't expect a great plot, or a plot at all really. There might be more coming, I guess it all depends on how well I'll be able to continue on from here. For those wondering when my other stories will be updated, well, I'll do my best guys. These next two weeks will be especially rough since I'm finishing up my school quarter. After that though I'll be completely done and FREE! Finally graduating! So just hang with me until then guys, I promise it will get better. :)

Full House

"_Sarah, my heart, my love, I will you adore you from now until the end of time itself!"_

"_Oh Jareth, I feel the same! Kiss me you delectable hunk of fae!"_

_As the crowd around them erupted into cheers, the newly married King and Queen of the goblins shared a passionate and beautiful kiss…"_

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! How did we go from pre-wedding troubles to _this?"_

I gritted my teeth at the untimely interruption, forcing myself to breathe slowly and evenly. Getting into a fight would hardly be productive. "I skipped ahead a few chapters. I'm not feeling the story very much right now, so I thought I might work on something a little happier…"

"_That_ is happier?" A new and decidedly more feminine voice chimed in. "It's… It's Drivel with a capital D!"

Turning in my desk chair I faced the new speaker. Standing over me was a beautiful dark haired woman wearing a gorgeous confection of white satin and lace accented with blue flowers. The fact that she wore _my_ fantasy wedding dress and I could see it up close and personal mollified me slightly in my moment of near freak out, but only a very tiny bit. "Look, I know its crap, but people keep telling me to just work past the crap. Eventually I'll get to a point where it's not crap anymore and then- Jareth! What the hell are you _doing_?"

The tall and finely dressed Goblin King quirked a darkened eyebrow at me, while not bothering to lower the makeup brush and eye shadow he had found after rifling through my drawers. "You never have me wearing any in your stories and I rather miss the stuff." Taking a moment to pause and admire the effect he said in a pleased tone, "I think it makes me look more dramatic, what do you think Sarah?"

Suppressing an eye roll, I tried to get back to my story while ignoring the discussion behind me about technique and the color that would go best with his electric blue frock coat. Now where was I…?

_Hoggle beamed at his new queen and said happily, "Welcome your majesty-"_

"Now really, is there any point to bringing back Hedwig?"

"It's _Hoggle_ Jareth, and don't pretend like you don't know," I told him with out bothering to turn around. I continued to say as I rubbed at my eyes tiredly, "I thought it would be nice to bring back Sarah's friends for the wedding, since I kinda lost them during the last story…"

"Humph," said an older and much more mature version of Sarah's voice. "Since they're not even in _my_ story, except for those few paragraphs, what does it matter?" The new Sarah came over and read over my shoulder as I did my best to stop my eye twitching. She mumbled quietly as she read over a few bits before suddenly shrieking in my ear, "Wait a minute! _They_ get a wedding?!" Turning to someone standing next to her I heard her exclaim, "_We_ got three stories of angst followed by a few paragraphs to summarize five years of total bliss! What the hell!"

I sighed tiredly, having known that sooner or later I would have to address this oversight. "Look," I said, turning back around and addressing the other couple, "Your story wrapped up much nicer. What would have been the point of dragging it on?"

This Sarah was just as beautiful as the previous one, but was in fact over a century older. Having also been turned fae she now possessed the almost otherworldly glow that beings of magic and our imagination seem to be made of, but I couldn't appreciate that since she was glaring daggers at me. Behind her and slightly to her left stood Jareth's counterpart, in a similar outfit to the other, but in more somber colors. With his hands folded over his chest and his lips lifted in an angry smirk, he stood as the opposing silent figure, supporting his wife as she berated me for the horrible offense I seemed to have made. Or at least he was imposing until…

"Is that silver glitter?!" He suddenly exclaimed with an almost girlish delight, not quite squealing, but losing enough dignity to jump up and clap his hands. Having caught the other Jareth out of the corner of his eye, he rushed over to my bed where the other two were sprawled out and giving Jareth one a make over. This time I wasn't alone in my eye roll as Sarah two joined in with me over the antics of her supposedly fearsome husband.

"You know that if I could have put it in I would have," I started to tell the Sarah still with me and not engrossed with my makeup. "But it wouldn't have made sense." She still looked miffed even after my explanation so I hurriedly told her, "At least you got another sequel! Isn't that just as good?"

"Except it's not about me, or even us," she said, gesturing over her shoulder vaguely at her husband. "It's about-"

"It's about _Drake,_" another new voice said. The voice was smooth and melodious; it was usually a very comforting voice, but today it was shaded in petulance.

"Oh Christian," I murmured quietly, "Not you too! You're supposed to be my rock, my go to guy, my-"

"Convenient plot device," he stated waspishly. "And what do I get for my troubles? Nothing!"

"That's not true," I said cajolingly as he paced in the two feet of space between my bed and closet. The room was starting to get a little cramped with all the people in it, and I felt better about the three sprawled on my bed and making a mess of my cosmetics. But with the still upset Goblin Queen looming over me by my desk, the agitated fae lord pacing like a penned tiger, and me slumped dejectedly in my chair, there wasn't much room left. "You're a great character and you'll have plenty to do in this last part of the saga…" At his glare I added sheepishly, "Er, I hope?"

"Why does _this _have to be the last part? Why can't _I_ get my own sequel?"

"Look," I told him, beginning to lose patience, "_No one_ is getting anything if I can't get back to work, comprende?"

He opened his mouth to say something, but at my death glare he snapped it closed. With another sigh I turned back around and had only managed to place my hands back on the keyboard when I heard him mutter, "At least I could get a love interest."

My eyes narrowed, but otherwise I ignored his comment, reading the last few lines of what I had previously typed so I could remember where I was. A voice from behind, one of the Jareth's I assumed, told the fae lord conversationally, "But didn't you see her author's note? You did have a love interest. Or you almost did. I don't think I read the whole thing though so I don't know who she had in mind…"

At Jareth's words I cringed. "Really?" I heard Christian say brightly. His face appeared next to mine as he scanned the computer screen in front of me excitedly. "Where is it, can I see?"

"No!" I said loudly, but a snort of laughter drowned me out. I felt someone pulling my chair back and look up horrified to see Sarah two holding my chair back.

"I know what it said," she told Christian sweetly. "Go take a look; I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised."

I looked at the queen shrewdly, wondering why she would be so amused about it if she really remembered what I had said. Her eyes met mine and I read the smug satisfaction in hers. Wordlessly she mouthed, _stolen memories,_ to me and it dawned on me what this was about. Sarah seemed more vindictive than I remembered making her…

Still, I waited breathlessly for what was to come as Christian found the last story with its author's note at the end. I saw him scroll down and blanched, mentally counting in my head, _three, two, one…_

"What!?!" He screamed out, clearly shocked and appalled. He spun around towards me, his eyes wild and almost crazed and practically foaming at the mouth. "How could you even _think_ that?!" He demanded to know.

"Umm," I said shiftily, stalling for time. The trio on the bed had all frozen, watching the drama unfold as the surprisingly vindictive Goblin Queen stood there with a smirk. The two Jareth's had identical expressions of amusement, while the Sarah on the bed seemed torn between laughter and worry. I knew they all waited eagerly for my response and that if I wanted to get going on my work sometimes in the next decade I had to give an answer. "It seemed like a good idea at the time," I finally told him with a shrug.

Now with his face turning startling shades of red I quietly thanked my friend for talking me out of doing it. I would have hated for Christian to die of heart failure. Jareth the second smoothly stood up from the bed and went to console Christian as I sat there, not knowing how to right the situation. "There now Christian," he told the younger man, "It can't possibly be _that_ bad. Who did she have in mind for you? Hogsmeade?" The Goblin King took a moment to snicker at his own joke, during which the room went horribly silent again. This time I truly feared for my life, not knowing how the King would take this little bit of news.

The two Sarah's seemed to share my concern as both started forward and said, "Wait Jareth, don't-" but with a raised hand Christian shushed them and shot me a look full of gloating.

"Go on sire, read what she thought about doing and then tell us what you all think!" I closed my eyes at his words, not even wanting to see the crystal that I feared would soon be aimed straight at my head.

An eternity seemed to go by, and in that time nothing happened except for a heavy silence descending upon the gathered group. Digging deep for my courage, I lifted my lids as little as I could to see what was going on. There was Jareth the second, smoothly straightening up from his hunched over position to read the computer screen, before slowly turning to look at Christian. I saw the king's eyes look the fae lord over, up and down his form, before my stomach flip flopped to see the seductive smirk fall over the king's face. "Hmm, wouldn't _that_ have been interesting," the king said slowly, allowing his tongue to slip out and moisten his lips.

The entire room remained still and deathly silent for about a nanosecond as everyone processed what he had said. Eventually though the peace was shattered as the first Sarah gave a giant whoop of laughter, followed by Sarah two's shriek of outrage. I looked at him in astonishment as chaos broke out around us. "You've got to be kidding?" I asked him, while he looked at me with a wicked twinkle in his eyes.

"I have three words for you," he told me in a serious manner belied by his smirk. "Dancing in the street."

I allowed myself to sit there for a few more seconds, mouth hanging open, before I resolutely closed it and stood up. "That's _four _words, and it's not funny," I hissed at him, while the two Sarah's shrieked at Christian, one in amusement the other in anger, Christian stood stunned with wide eyes, and Jareth one rolled on the bed clutching his stomach and laughing. I pushed the second Jareth away from the computer and rolled my chair back over to it, sitting down with a loud _thunk_.

Muttering angrily to myself about randy Goblin Kings and prima donnas I desperately tried to get back to work as the cacophony raged on behind me. Tentatively my fingers hit a few keys as I struggled to make something work. Just as I was feeling that some of my confidence _might_ be returning, a loud _crash_ from behind me broke my concentration and I stood up with an outraged shriek. "What now?" I shouted angrily, turning around.

The vision that met my eyes would have been comical under any other circumstance, but today it had me seeing red. It appeared that the arguing characters had finally banded together in their quest to bar my door as they now lay under it in a collected heap. Resting on top of them and panting heavily were the new comers. Dressed in black leather pants and a simple white dress shirt, was a long, auburn haired man with wickedly sharp teeth, which were currently being showed off as he grinned good naturedly at me. Next to him was a somewhat bemused looking dark haired man, with a mop of dreadlocks twined with tinkling ornaments, who smelled heavily of rum. And bringing up the rear, standing over the two still perched on top of the door, was a tall and slim young woman, dressed in tight breeches and a button up man's shirt, her short raven hair left to flow freely down her back.

After taking several deep breaths, ignoring the groaning sounds coming from under my flimsy wooden door, I asked the girl standing in my doorway, "Do I even want to know what the hell just happened?"

"Well," the girl began, "Jack and I-"

"Captain, love," the dark haired drunk proclaimed loudly as he struggled to stand up. "We've been over this several times now…"

"_Captain_ Jack," the girl said again, her eyes closing in frustration for a moment before meeting mine again, "and I were coming to, uh, ask about our story?" With each word that she spoke, my eyes got narrower and narrower, until I was gazing at her with the merest of slits, and her words got quieter and began to lose confidence. Now she looked at me almost sheepishly, her hands clenched in front of her.

"So you broke down my door?" I asked quietly.

"Well love, of course not!" _Captain_ Jack said with a broad grin, having managed to make it into an upright position. Stepping over the still groaning people, he weaved a winding path over to me, gazing beseechingly into my eyes. "We simply used the proper amount of force needed to gain entry into your humble domicile, savvy?"

His chocolate brown eyes tried to focus onto mine, but judging by the smell coming from his mouth he had hit the rum bottle hard and heavy today. So instead of looking at me, they managed to wander over my face, chest, and feet before finally settling on a spot over my shoulder. "Well, 'ello there my good man," he said charmingly, losing all interest in me. "You sure are a handsome one!"

Not even bothering to turn, as I knew he had spied the poster of himself on my wall, I sighed again and stepped away from him, needing air that wasn't tainted by stale rum, tobacco, and musky hooker. Glaring now at the still sprawled form of my once favorite dragon, I said wearily, "Don't you think you should get up now?"

"Why of course my lady, your wish is my command," he said smoothly as he got up gracefully. I watched dispassionately as the quartet on the floor helped each other up, doing a quick head count.

"Where's Christian?" I asked, surprised at his absence.

"He left just before _they_ tried to burst in here," one of the Jareth's said. He, the other one, and the two Sarah's now stood against one wall, glaring at the two pirates against the opposite one, with Drake still grinning in the middle of the room with me.

"And why did they have to _burst_ in here? Why were you guys trying to keep them out?"

"We didn't think you needed any more distractions," Jareth one told me blandly. "After all, you have much work still to do on _our_ story; you can hardly worry about theirs right now!"

"Ah, but my lady, we know that's not true at all!" Drake said in a velvety voice, almost making his words into a sensual purr. Taking my hand he brushed a kiss upon the back of it as I watched him incredulously. "Surely now that I'm here we might continue your newest piece?" He mumbled against my skin, his eyes shinning happily as he winked suggestively at me.

I quickly snatched my hand back and told him imperiously, "Knock it off Drake! _I_ won't fall for your smooth charms like Sarah did!" Ignoring the, _hey_, from the other side of the room I continued on, "And you'll just have to wait your turn with everyone else," I said louder, addressing the whole room. Letting my eyes rove over each character I said clearly, "Listen, I know all of you guys want your story told, but you have to give me a break! This stuff takes time and energy, and sometimes I just need a little room to breathe!" I gestured briefly over my shoulder at my cluttered desk as I talked and I saw some of their eyes flick towards it. They came back to me, some with varying levels of sympathy and apology while other showed sign of mutiny. I heaved an internal sigh, hoping that I could get through to them. "Now look, if you all could just leave me be for a bit, I'll try my best to get something done for all of you. I just can't have anymore-"

A heavy footstep coming from the hallway stopped me abruptly. The sound of a deep cackle that followed made me almost cringe. My fears were realized as a giant, horned, and bright red figure came into view. With the torso of a man, the lower half that marked him as a satyr, and large, slightly curved ink black horns crowning his brow, I stood with my mouth agape at the figure from dreams and nightmares. I met glowing eyes and tried to swallow, almost choking at the lump that had appeared from nowhere in my throat. Behind the towering form I saw several smaller shadows with red eyes, flitting in and out of my vision and laughing in evil glee.

I tried to force something out of my throat, some eloquent remark or heartfelt plea, but all that I managed was a high pitched and shaky, "Hi!"

* * *

A/N: For those that haven't read all my fics, I'm sure Captain Jack Sparrow needs no introduction, but the girl is Jocelyn (both are from my Pirates fic of course), and the big red beasty showing up at the end is the Lord of Darkness himself, from my Legend fic. I know the ending was rather abrupt, but it seemed like a good place to stop. More may be coming... Until then, why not tell me what you think?

And this is for all the Harem girls. :) Thanks for listening to all my crap guys and all the encouragement! You ladies ROCK!


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